Hollywood star Shia LaBeouf has revealed that he has found faith and converted to Catholicism after going through a dark period in his life.
LaBeouf appeared on Bishop Barron’s Christian podcast “Conversations at the Crossroads” to talk about his role as the mystic St. Padre Pio in the upcoming film, “Padre Pio.”
After media reports last year that accused LaBeouf of being “abusive” in his past relationships, the “Transformers” actor said he contemplated suicide.
He said of the dark time in his life: “I had a gun on the table. I was outta here.
“I didn’t want to be alive anymore when all of this happened.
“Shame like I had never experienced before — the kind of shame that you forget how to breathe.
“You don’t know where to go. You can’t go outside to get like, a taco.
“But I was also in this deep desire to hold on.
“It stops being this prep of a movie and starts being something that feels beyond all that.
“The reach-out had happened.
“I was already there; I had nowhere to go.
“This was the last stop on the train.
“There was nowhere else to go — in every sense.
“I know now that God was using my ego to draw me to Him.
“Drawing me away from worldly desires.
“It was all happening simultaneously.
“But there would have been no impetus for me to get in my car, drive up to the seminary if I didn’t think, ‘Oh, I’m gonna save my career.’
“And when I got here, a switch happened.
“It was like Three-Card Monte.
“It was like someone tricked me into it, it felt like.
“Not in a bad way.
“In a way that I couldn’t see it.
“I was so close to it that I couldn’t see it.
“I see it differently now that time has passed.”
He said he did not feel worthy of finding solace in faith until he saw others who struggled.
“It was seeing other people who have sinned beyond anything I could ever conceptualize also being found in Christ that made me feel like, ‘Ok well, that gives me hope.’
“I started hearing experiences of other depraved people who had found their way in this, and it made me feel like I had permission,” he said.