A woman has revealed how she lived as a transgender “man” for four years before she “detransitioned” and returned to living as a woman after finding God.
25-year-old Maddy Edwards says God told her to “detransition.”
Immediately after, she dumped her female partner and started dating men.
Edwards, from Lawton, Oklahoma, said she knew she was “different” from the age of five and would pray to wake up as a boy.
Like many young tomboys, she said she felt more comfortable in boys’ clothing and desperate to arm wrestle with pals.
Growing up in a traditional Christian household, it wasn’t until she turned 14 that she even heard the term “transgender.”
After consuming transgender ideology online, she launched a secret social media account under the name “Rider.”
She then started tucking her long hair under a hat and using the hashtag “transman” to share pictures.
However, before she was able to grow out of the natural tomboy phase, she started to look into surgery and taking testosterone at age 19.
But after finding God at age 23, she completely changed her mind, started dating men, and even became a mother.
“I had never liked being a female or felt it was who I was supposed to be,” she said
“I thought I was meant to be a man.
“I never would have thought in a hundred years I would ever accept myself as a female.”
At age 19, she cut her hair short and started taking testosterone.
She went by the name Matthew and ended the relationship she had with her religious parents.
After seeing a counselor and an endocrinologist, Maddy started weekly testosterone injections.
Three years later in 2020, Matthew was engaged to a woman and serious about irreversible transgender surgery.
She planning to have so-called “top surgery” – a procedure where doctors remove breast tissue.
But in December 2020, Maddy, who works as an army ammunition plant worker, claims she heard the voice of God telling her that he had love for her “if only she would stop running from it.”
This encounter radically transformed the course of Maddy’s life and caused her to break up with her fiancée.
“When I experienced how much love God had for me, it overflowed into self-love,” she said.
“I was able to accept myself exactly the way he created me [as a female].
“At the start, it was weird to be called a girl and hear people call me Maddy.
“Anytime anyone said Matt or Matty, I’d turn around.
“I’d dissociated myself from that identity for so long.
“I’m now becoming more comfortable in my femininity.
“I’m a mum to a little girl, it’s the coolest thing ever. I never saw myself becoming a mum.
“I always wanted to be a parent and a dad.
“I wanted to be a dad so bad, but I never pictured myself as a mum.
“It’s so amazing,” she said.
Maddy had started a new job picking plants in a greenhouse and because she didn’t have headphones with her to listen to music like usual, she opted to pray.
She claims it was like she “heard the voice of God” speak to her.
“That was the moment, my eyes were opened.”
Just a week after this happened, Maddy broke up with her fiancée, who she had been planning to buy a house with, and detransitioned back to being a girl.
Despite never previously accepting herself as a woman, Maddy found the encounter helped her to accept herself “the way God created her.”
She then started to blossom as a woman.
Maddy said: “There were a lot of hugs and crying.
“It wasn’t sad though, I had this joy.
“My fiancée was really understanding.
“I didn’t think ‘this a sinful thing and you’ll go to hell,’ I just didn’t find it appealing anymore.
“I knew God had so much better plans for me and her, it wasn’t how he designed us to be.”
Maddy always felt different as both a child and teenager and fully believed she was meant to be a man, especially due to her discomfort with her body when growing breasts during puberty.
Maddy said: ‘I remember praying several times on the op bunk of my little bunk bed as a child.
“I’d say ‘Hey God, just wake me up 100 percent a boy and don’t let anyone remember me as a girl.”
“I fully believed a boy was who I was supposed to be.
“It was only when I was 13 or 14 though that I actually learned the word transgender.
“I thought ‘wow this makes so much sense.”
“I was looking at videos on YouTube of born females taking testosterone and getting top surgery to be transgender, and thought ‘oh that’s why I’m uncomfortable with my chest’.
“I was dressing as a guy – putting my hair up in a beanie, trying to be this guy I thought I was.
“I felt a lot of euphoria doing it. I thought ‘this has to be right.’”
While it took some time to embrace her born gender, she now embraces her feminine identity and role as a mother – something she never imagined.
Maddy said: “Feeling like you are transgender is very real and I’m never going to say it isn’t real.
“When I lived my life like that, I really felt that way.”
